Trust is broken

It was nothing short of shocking. To think that among all people, the person to break the secret would have to be you. I expected this to happen, but not you.

Trust is a very delicate yet powerful word. It either strengthens the relationship with the people whom you love and care for deeply, or it just breaks the bond between them just like how a sharp knife slice through the thich yet thin skin of a tomato. I can never understand why you do it in the first place.

No matter what the choices are, when you give  your word, you should uphold it all the way. As long as either party breaks it, the strength of the five letter word diminish rapidly in an instant, almost reaching a point of oblivion.

After many years of immersing myself in socio-political dynamics of events, this conclusion was not a surprising one.  All that is left is a bitter taste in me, but nothing can be done to salvage it. As a new saying on Tumblr goes, “ trust is like an eraser, the more someone attempts to destroy, it just shrinks and dies off by itself eventually”. I was a fool to have believed in the impossible.

Events like these reinforces the value in watching survivor.  People are there for you only when you are worthy for their usage. When you have no more interest value to the particular friend or person, you are just out of the picture.  It happens time and time again for the past 23 seasons and the 22 years of my life. It is a never changing fact. Of course, I am not generalizing every friend that I have on my list. There are still the elite few who are here just because they want to be here and value all the exchanges and friendship that has been built oer the years. However, I guess there is a little bit of this selfish streak in every one of us. Thus, being independent is the only key that allow you to survive in this harsh world.

This is indeed a sarcastic rebuttal to your actions. I wanted to give the good in humans a chance again. I want it to be renewed in my new faith and outlook to life. But, sadly, your actions have proved to me that my new faith is just a pack of wishful thinking.

 What now? You tell me. I am sick and tired of being nice to everyone. I see no reason as everyone chooses to take advantage of me in the end.

Bad Week

This week has a total disaster. I have fallen sick for the first time in the past 1 and the half year. Gotten the stomach vies somewhere somehow which i cannot remember. It must be due to the mixture of milk and my spicy prawn noodle that resulted in today's tragedy.

Caught up with the amazing race and cleared some readings. Time is running short. Sometimes, I wonder what is all these hustle and bustle leading us too? I have some friends who are so hard on competing have actually hurt the feelings fellow "comrades" around him or her. It is thus, a very sad fact of the education system. We are not pursuing knowledge, we are just pursuing the ends to it.

Is there a limit to progress? The answer is no. Progress is infinite and unquantifiable. Once it starts, it cannot be stopped. That is if you enter a 100% socialist state. Even so, there will still be progress as it needs to retain is political legitimacy over its people. Ok, I am heading into Political Science stuff. But anyway, my point is that, what I worry is how the future generation will be coping with the pressures of unrealistic expectations. Looking at the what the primary school kids are learning today, it really scares me. All that they have today are what I can only experience in my secondary school days. With all this rapid changes taking place, will there be a time when we need to inject growth hormones once our child are born?

Okies, time for Immanuel KANT.

Awakening

For all the effort I have put in, this is all I get.

Sometimes, I question the philosophy behind reaping what you sow. Why isn't it a direct formula?
I need to find the way fast. it is already the third semester and time is running out fast. Time in university is worth much more than anything else in the universe. Yes. No Joke. I would rather protest in the streets holding the sign "I WANT MORE TIME!" rather than " I AM THE 99% of the exploited population".
As a slow learner but a fast finisher, the whole system is stacked against me. I just feel so fed up at times when things don't seem to go the way I expect it to be. Not that it must turn out the way I want it to be, but perhaps, just preferably.

That day on the bus, it scared the shit out of me when I realize more than three quarters of the bus are filled with foreign students. What time was it you may ask. Well, I guess most of you would have known by now. 10pm. It was ten FREAKING o'clock. Can you believe it? I tried to put in that much already, and if others put it that much too, how will I be able to catch up with them?

Well, the only solution is to fix me to a caffeine injection system man. I am going to stay up late till the sun waves at me twice each day.

The bar has been set much much higher man. stressed.

I will not let this defeat me. I will be back stronger. If others can do it, so can I.

"It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness, it was the epoch of belief, it was the epoch of incredulity, it was the season of Light, it was the season of Darkness, it was the spring of hope, it was the winter of despair, we had everything before us, we had nothing before us, we were all going direct to heaven, we were all going direct the other way" - Charles Dickens

Old age Enlgish

I really hate it alot. Period.

And screw it. We didn't get the 3 points.

Colour Test

You guys should try this! http://www.colorquiz.com/quiz.php
It takes less than five minutes!


This is my results. Kind of accurate!

Color Test - Results

Your Existing Situation "Needs a peaceful and quiet environment. Desires an affectionate and faithful partner who will spoil him and treat him with importance. If he feels mistreated or a lack of attention, he may withdraw." Your Stress Sources "Delights in the finer things in life and things that appeal to the senses, but can be critical. Is careful and cautious and must believe he is not being manipulated or tricked. Keeps his emotions in check and is always analyzing his relationships in order to know exactly where he stands at all times. Demands complete honesty as a protection against his naturally trusting nature." Your Restrained Characteristics "Tries to participate and involve himself in things going on around him; however, avoids conflict and arguments to reduce stress and tension." "Emotionally withdrawn, feels forced to make compromises which makes emotional attachments difficult." "Although he is able to find contentment through sexual activity, he feels hopeless to change his problems and difficulties and continues to make the best of what he has." Your Desired Objective "Highly optimistic and outgoing personality. Loves to learn new and exciting things, and craves new interests. Looking for a well-rounded life full of success and new experiences. Does not allow himself to be overcome with negative thoughts or self-doubt. Takes life head on, with enthusiasm. " Your Actual Problem "Wishes he was more spontaneous and impulsive, but holds back because he needs things to be in order, rational, and clearly defined."

Rat race

We are all part of it. There is no escape.

The past weekend has been both bad and good. I spent my Saturday getting pissed with Singtel. On Sunday, I made my trip down to the Old Kallang Airport for the Nike Run and then celebrated Kian Wee's birthday at night. Not to forget, it was my maiden trip into Mandarin Oriental.

Loads to type and bitch about. But, first I have to play catch up in this rat race. A race that only cares about the immediate success and absolute value, but always forgetting the final destination that man will all arrive at one day. Death.

Hate it when people keep posting how man words they need to chalk up to hit the word limit of their essay on twitter. Seriously, what are u trying to show? Once or twice, it is ok. But it has been three sems in a row and every of your essay.

Run!

After so many weeks(roughly 3 weeks) of hectic work and the breaking up of the gym routine, this is the first time I am heading out for the Nike run.

It is one of the worst race ever in terms of preparation. I want this race to be over and done with. Just hope that everyone will move on from there afterwards.

Is it normal to have jitters meeting new people? I am being normal then.

Darkest Saturday ever

As the title has said it , this Saturday is one that I would want to forget.

Completed the tutorial questions for 1500 but did not internalize e lecture notes. Started on a week 5 Chinese politics reading and I'm
Only halfway through.

I thought I will be able to get my MacBook pro today but I didn't. Waited the entire morning for e Singtel peeps to come but they didn't.
After a 10 hours sleep, I still wasted 4 hours this afternoon taking a nap.

F this saturday man. E darkest one ever.

Why must it rain now? Can't it wait until 7. Grrr.

Terrible Saturday

This whole day just sucks to the max.

and to think I that I am ending it off with some read up on a church in the US that is anti-gay. Sometimes, I just wonder what the hell is wrong with this world man.

Did u know fucking insolent that "anything" meant to me?

One after another

Sitting in the enclosed room with the 4 walls acting as guardians around me, I am waiting for the Singtel technicians to install my fibre optic broadband. It has been 1 hour and there is still no sign of them. The key thing for the day is not my internet , but the macbook pro collection

The whole week has been a hectic one. 4 hours of sleep daily is really taking a toll on me both mentally and physically. I had to endure a splitting headache throughout the whole of yesterday. Overshot my targeted wake up timing and thus wasted a few hours. This is tough, but I will pull through it.

Sometimes, I ask, how long can i take this up and down ride. Test of my determination or patience?

Dare

Wil you dare to put your public life to scrutiny?

Dare